Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in ahiru_desu's LiveJournal:

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Friday, August 28th, 2009
1:46 am	Alright, Tweepright part 4 The very next morning, Bella the idiot woke up and saw the crystallized cum sculpture in the middle of her bedroom floor. She assumed wrongly that it was a gift from her caring father, who tried far too hard to win Bella's daughterly affections. Such attempts were futile because: One, Bella wasn't worth it. Two, Bella was not capable of affection. She licked the sculpture languidly like a trained cat. "salty" she cringed. So Bella went her merry fucking way in her hexed vehicle to her excruciatingly normal high school, where she was popular only because she was a possible new dick cozy for one (or several) of the school's semi-retarded inbred gentlefolk. Bella swerved her head in every possible direction, searching the halls subtly for her pale-faced caf-buddy. "No luck," she said to herself. "No luck with what?" said Jess. Bella jumped and smacked Jess' ugly mug with her elbow. "FUCK, HOLY COWS" Bella screeched like a banshee. Bella had not even detected Jess' presence. Jess was Bella's acquaintance, some would call it a friend, but Bella did not like to acknowledge this. Jess was an amoeba-shaped vision in a purple stretch top spotted with pink butterflies. Her spaced out expression was a clear indication that she was below average intelligence. (Edward had noted to himself before that if he were to force his hands inside Jessica's skull, her brain would probably have the texture of a sedimentary rock.) "NO LUCK WITH WHAT. I STILL WANNA KNOW." Jess cried, as she kneaded the bruised fat on her face. "I don't need to tell you anything." Bella mumbled, she rubbed her injured elbow. "FINE. NOW I'M ANGRY AT YOU." Jess stormed off down the hallway, her faux-rage like that of a bored grade school girl. Today, in science class, where Ed was supposed to be, there was a not Edward. He was NOT THERE. :( Bella was sooo sad. Today, they were looking at samples of their own blood. Bella felt nauseous looking at the blood. AND SHE PUKED EVERYWHERE! SHE PUKED ON THE TEACHER, SHE PUKED ON THE STUDENTS, SHE PUKED ON HER DESK, SHE PUKED ON HERSELF, SHE PUKED ALL OVER THE BLOOD IT WAS SO GROSS. Current Mood: giggly (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
5:42 pm	Procrastination Movie Review I'm procrastinating, and I watched a great movie last night, SO this can only mean one thing: PROCRASTINATION MOVIE REVIEW!!! Last night my suite mate rented the dvd Blindness. I had never heard of it before, and all I knew was that it was a thriller/drama. It starts out, a view of a busy street. All of a sudden this Japanese guy (Yoshino Kimura) starts freaking out in his car. His car is stopped in the middle of the road, and the people behind him are total dicks and continue to honk at him, despite the fact that there's obviously something wrong. He's gone blind! Some people finally figure out there's a problem. One guy offers to drive him home, and Yoshino tries to explain to the guy that all he can see is white, like everything is covered in milk. The guy drops Yoshino off at his apartment, then steals his car. Yoshino's wife brings him to the eye doctor, but the doctor says there's nothing wrong that he can see. (Yoshino and his wife are speaking Japanese and there are subtitles, but this is only intermittent. It's not a foreign movie). The focus shifts to the man who stole the car. He also goes blind! The movie then shows other people going blind. Then the main focus becomes the eye doctor. He's at home with his wife. He wakes up the next morning, and he too has become blind. His wife goes with him to the quarantine, and she claims that she's blind in order to do so. The people are all brought to a quarantine for those with the "white sickness". It's run by the government, but it soon becomes obvious how abusive the system is. The blind basically have to fend for themselves. Thankfully, the eye doctor's wife (Julianne Moore) is not afflicted by the blindness. She attempts to take care of the ward she is in. A lot of injustice goes down. If you're big on social justice, this will probably make you cringe. A lot of adult situations, definitely not for those with a weak stomach. Not too gross visually, but it has it's parts. A really fantastic thriller. At a certain point, it reaches it's peak, and after that it gradually comes down- alluding at one part to the reason for the blindness, but it never quite explains it. My suite mate tells me that the book really explains it, and that the movie ends a little prematurely, but the ending is not unsatisfying, just unexplained. I felt a lot of sympathy for the characters by the end, and felt a sort of attachment to them all. The characters were all fantastically played. Julianne Moore is amazing in this one. There are celebrities in this movie, but none of them are spotlighted. Everyone plays their part without stealing the spotlight. It's actors doing their job! Amazing! haha The cinematography is phenomenal, reflecting the theme of the movie. An all around great movie, it kept me engaged and on my toes- I'll give it 4 out of 5 sturrs! (Comment on this)
Monday, April 20th, 2009
10:50 pm	Tweepright Fanfic part 3 “SHIT” he thought marblesquely while he gripped his onyx dick like the reigns of a Shetland pony. “SOOO HOT yet my skin is so cold.” Bella-della turned over and mumbled a bit- her lips parted ever so slightly. Edward’s demon eyes glowed reddish-orange and all crazy-like and wide. He nearly K.O-ed her mouth with his phallic rocket, but he resisted. Rigid, he stood in the middle of the room. “Control” Edward thought to himself, attempting to calm his nerves. “Controooollll.” His fist tightened around his peepee and he moved it left, right, down, up, up, right, right, down, left like an Atari game stick. This was a game of Missile Command he could only win if he obliterated Bella’s ugly mug with his disco-ballesque sperm balls. “OH Oh oh” While narrating the situation to himself he inadvertently rubbed his jib-jab to the point of liquid expulsion. “ahhh” he said in both satisfaction and calm surprise when he saw the icicles connecting his PHWEETPHWOOT to the floorboards. Oh, what a night! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
9:06 pm	Tweepright Fanfic part 2 Edward sat at home scratching his immaculate balls thinking about the new brain-waveless piece of meat he encountered earlier in the day. He was sitting on his day bed because vampires don’t sleep. The foggy evening turned into foggy night. “What am I going to do now?” he thought. Then a fucking RAD IDEA penetrated his glistening brain. He would spy on this chick-ah-let. Edward jumped into his car and started it by sticking his finger in the key slot and generating pure electricity. He drove the 3 blocks + 2 forests to her humble little crapin (crap+cabin). “oo hoo hoo” he thought to himself. He’d think that one to Carlisle when he got a better signal. Carlisle appreciated and rewarded clever wordplay. Edward slipped through the car window like a snake and jumped onto her roof, which was not difficult at all. Not because he was a fucking vampire and had fucking super strength. No. She just had a really low roof, considering there was a 2nd floor. Ed climbed down into her window with the stealth of a ninja and the moral blindness of a small town pedophile. Here room was as spare and clean as Paris Hilton’s poop chute. The sticky smell complemented the set up. He spotted her stick figure underneath the covers. “GOD YOU PIECE OF SHIT” he hollered at her with his THOUGHTS. She only stirred, mumbling something about disrespecting the people who care about her. He then stood completely still. He looked at her face more intently and felt something stir inside his gilded chest. Blood clot?.....Love? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 23rd, 2009
3:50 am	Tweepright Fanfic part 1 He met a girl who smelled and reminded him of a happy meal. What was the prize? He didn’t know. He couldn’t tell. Her bag was shut. “I’m lovin’ her” he thought, hoping she wouldn’t intercept his brain waves. She looked so sad. He didn’t know why. He wanted to know. God, why?! He didn’t know her thoughts, but he wanted to know her thoughts so badly. He stared at her intentedly, and she looked at him too at the same time and she made facial expression with her eyebrows- he wished he could read faces. He paid the price of his mindreading abilities with his lack of “natural human intuition” for reading expressions. He felt artistic. He looked towards the clouds outside the window. The wet rain that was coming towards Forks was inevitable. He smirked at this. The rain. To everyone else the rain was just part of another shitty day. Not to him. The rain meant he wouldn’t glitter in the fucking sun. Spring break to him was a rainy day in London. Gorgeous. Just wonderful. But he looked at Bella again. Her expression had not changed. She looked bitter and unhappy. Maybe it’s because she’s new? he thought. Someone can’t possibly be that bitter and repulsed with the world always. He glared more intensely at her brain, attempting to take to a psychological dig, but he came up short. Nothing. She was either not emitting any brain waves whatsoever, or he simply could not read her thoughts. Pish posh and apple shosh, he thought to himself. He wanted to know. She got up to go to the salad bar- “for cherry tomatoes” he thought, filling in a mental mad lib for her lack of telekinetic output. He leaped from his chair and jogged behind her to take a look. GODDAMNIT. SHIT. She went for the iceberg lettuce. He cupped and rubbed his mouth and stubble out of frustration and pure bewilderment. He constantly played the “what are they going to get at the salad bar-I’m always right because I can read their fucking minds” game. He lost now. His perfect streak was ruined because of this cement skulled BITCHH. He was still standing behind her, brooding and lost in bewilderment when she turned around. “WOAH!” she said with surprise. The stupid piece of shit dropped an apple, but not before Edward intercepted it with his vampire hand. Edward-1. Linoleum-0. “Be careful with your food” Ed said. Bella just stared at his face like it was the only thing that mattered. “Bitch, I don’t spend all my time working out for you to stare at my FUCKING FAACCCEE” he thought with a little anger in his lungs. She mentally stuttered for a bit as she took the apple back from Edward. “Thanks” she said lacklustardly. “Jesus Christ, I’m overwhelmed in your gratefulness. GO DROWN.” Edward thought these thoughts, and realized all of his anger was from his inability to access her thinking space. But who wouldn’t be pissed? This is understandable. Your whole vampire life you can tell what people are thinking whether you like it or not. And then you tell other people what some one said to you, and then you realize that they only thought that, and that’s fucking weird. The pale thing said something while Edward was thinking, and he replied with the most mysterious thing he could muster. “I have class with you, but I don’t know which one it is…” he said. He kicked himself for saying something so retarded. Even though he wasn’t out to impress this girl, he was paranoid that she would tell her better off brain dead posse what he said, and he’d have to listen to their cerebella chatter-gossip the rest of the fucking week because the only other thing that happens in Forks that requires brain activity is spoons at the local Indian reservation. JESUS. The fucking irony strikes anew every time. --------------------------- (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 14th, 2009
4:19 pm	Happy Valentine's Day! I have Pink eye/conjungtivitis and some sort of virus! My love is highly contagious. Ahhhh Happy Valentine's day. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 22nd, 2008
12:37 am	Writer's Block: Your Favorite Series: One Last Go Round If you could pick any TV show that has been off the air to come back for one more season, which show would you pick and why? Submitted By idle_kid_city View 502 Answers Freaks & Geeks! It didn't get the chance to live up to it's full potential. The characters also didn't have the time to develop further :( (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008
11:31 pm	Wow! Bread! Warning: Silly rant about work-related issues ahead Some lady at work yelled at me today because she didn't get any grilled bread with her order (which doesn't actually come with any bread, grilled or otherwise). She calls up and is like "HAY THIS IS WRONG I ASKED FOR BREAD I HAD BREAD YESTERDAY WITH THE SAME ORDER I WANT THAT KIND" Me: "I'm sorry, which kind of bread was it? Grilled? Or did it have cheese on it..." Lady: "I DON'T KNOW, THE KIND I GOT YESTERDAY THE KIND I GOT." She drove back just to get her bread and she threw a little hissy fit. I was so confused. Thankfully it got cleared up, but seriously. We're dealing with food, not missiles, woman! Lol, people... Current Mood: confused (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 22nd, 2008
10:30 pm	HEY GUYZ I'm finally doing this meme! Some will probably be pretty easy to figure out, but some might be pretty difficult! For obvious quotes with names in them, I asterisk the names out to make it a teensy bit trickier. :D Try your best! 1. Pick 15 of your favourite films. 2. Pick a quote from each one. 3. As people guess the quote, put the title and their name by it. (Bonus points for knowing which characters!) And no cheating using Google or such either. 1. "You want a SACRIFICIAL lamb? Sorry, fresh out!" 2."Nice nurse uniform, Guy." "Actually they're O R scrubs." "O R they?" 3."Hey! It's God's thumbnail!" 4."Oh, that's a wonderful place to start! Once you meet someone, you never really forget them." 5. "****, please, I'm only an elected official here, I can't make decisions by myself!" 6. "***, we'll need to take a rain-check on that." "Ok. I'll wear my razzle dazzle raincoat!" 7. "How many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called fucking strategy, all right?" 8. "Get out of the grave, Alan. Get out of the grave and let an artist show you how to call a curse down on Satan!" 9. "Let me get this straight. You know her. She knows you. But she wants to eat him. And everybody's okay with this?" 10."I'm sorry I can't hear you. I've been physically abused in the ear." 11."No, it's not stupid, Signora *****. L'amore e cieco." "Oh, love is blind. Yeah, we have that saying too." "Everybody has that saying because it's true everywhere." 12."Jesus, Mary, and Joseph." "You're talking to the wrong people." 13. "...I'm Sorry *****, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." 14. "Shoot her! Shoot her!" 15. "****, it's New Years Eve, enough reading." Lol, this took me over an hour to put together. The tv probably didn't help, hahaha (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 7th, 2008
12:42 am	AVATAR I want to watch ALL of Avatar. :l DONT JUDGE ME. Someone dish out 200 bucks and buy me seasons 1 and 2. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 9th, 2007
10:43 pm	SUMMER Hahaha It is 10:45 pm and I haven't even started my homework! lol This is basically a companion post to claire's HSM one. Watch all of it! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 7th, 2007
2:02 am	Dude I seriously get crushes too easily. He's so cute. Sweet ride, too. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 23rd, 2007
10:50 pm	WHHHHYYYYY Awkward people are put on this planet to ruin my liiiife. AH-AH-AH-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH D: (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 6th, 2007
11:37 pm	Alpine Shop and the Mile High Club OMG. Why have I not been to the Alpine Shop before? My mom and I went there today to buy a bag for my trip, and first thing we see? A guy on crutches asking if we need assistance. Normal. We say we're fine. But then we end up needing help, and who asks this time? A pretty nice-looking blonde blue-eyed guy. Nice. And after he helps us find some bags, he joins his other sales buddy. DAYUMN. He was really pretty with light brown hair and blue eyes. We still can't find a good bag, so we head towards the bag area again. And while we're walking over there, who do we see? Another Abercrombie model look-alike salesguy. HOLY JESUS MOTHER MARY CHRIST. THAT GUY WAS FOINE!!!!! Black hair, nice smile, and he was wearing long, knee-high sporty socks <3. It was like one after the other. BAM BAM BAM! Hotties hotties hotties! And when I couldn't see hot salesguys, hot guys were walking into the store. I have found Nirvana. *ahhh* I repeat, WHY have I not gone there before? Man, we need to go on a field trip to the Alpine Shop <3. I wanna get a job there *_______* Okay, after the errand from heaven, we went home for dinner. Left-over burgers from the night before. Again, the main conversation was about my upcoming trip and how I'll deal with traveling in the airports. My mom talked about how awesome it would be if (because I'd be an unaccompanied minor) I could hang out in one of those super nice lounges. And we talked about what kind of people hang out in those sweet lounges. My mom said, "Probably really rich people and their kids, or businesspeople who travel abroad a lot." And I contributed by saying "Or maybe people that belong to the Mile High Club!" And I laughed. Both of my parents just STARED at me. And I was like, "What?" Mom: "Kelly, do you know what that is?" Me: "No... isn't it like a rich people's club?" Mom:"It's when people have sex in planes." Me: D8< "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Now, just hearing that word coming out of my mom's mouth was enough to make me lose my appetite. And my parent (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 17th, 2007
5:16 pm	Chinese Festival Saturday! Hey! Who wants to go to the Chinese Festival at Shaw's Garden with me? It's from 10am to 5pm, but we certainly don't have to stay the whole time. If you want to, just give me a call on my cell phone asap! Muchas! :) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
6:59 pm	Hahahahaha! Omg, I'm a genius (sort of) I just edited some other people's icons (is that stealing?... I don't really know). Anyways. Basically I inserted a lot of toilet humor. More to come! My absolute favorite: Use them at your leisure! Spread! Spread! XD (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 7th, 2007
10:27 pm	I want to marry John Oliver. *angels* Ahhhhh! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
10:10 pm	AGH exams should be exiled. I have a U.S. History exam tomorrow. God, Buddha, Richard Simmons, don't let me fail! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 14th, 2007
9:12 pm	Wanna play dolls? Yay, omg. Domyouji! <3 luv faeva! (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 29th, 2006
10:14 pm	AGH My eyes hurt :( Right now I'm babysitting kids, and-oh shit, one just set itself on fire. BRB. 'Kay. I'm back. Um... Actually they're sleeping right now, and there's nothing on TV, so I have nothing to do. You all should commission me to do some drawings or something (for free) because I need some motivation to draw. To Bridgid: What day are you leaving? Because I need help finishing up my research paper and doing my mobile/cell phone evolution project for U.S. History. Agh. Break my ass. No. Not "Break my ass" as in, physically, breaking my posterier, but like,"Christmas Break, my Ass." Yeah, I capitalized ass. Wanna fight about it? These people have an Australian Shepherd and his name is Hank. Hank's cute, but he "played"(aka physically attacked me and bit every ligament in my body) with me too much. >:o Don't attack me, Hank! And he stole my shoe. ;_; DUH END. P.S. I'm so excited for S&M Sushi Night, you do not even KNOW. Current Mood: okay Current Music: We should play hide and seek! (4 Comments |Comment on this)